Employment . Goals. Unemployment. Books.

I never seriously thought about becoming an employee. This is because I don't want to work or am too lazy to go to work everyday, i have no idea. But now as i am old, I think i might not become an employee. Of course i will work and become employee of my own. A self employer . I am already my own employee.

I see myself thriving and struggling every day for me to have a satisfying life of my own definition. What is happiness, what is satisfying I don't even know. But when i am very hungry, eating something is very satisfying . Also drinking alcohol  and gossiping while doing that  i find it satisfying. Worrying about money it is not satisfying. I sometimes worry about money.

There are no work where i can do anything i want. I have to become my own employee to do anything i want. I am already doing by writing anything i want. Uploading videos of any types i want. Also doing the page humans of manipur is a very meaningful thing i am proud of myself of all things i do.

When I think of myself deep inside myself i feel i need to feel very satisfied. Why i have this thought, I don't know. It doesn't mean i am not ok or not feeling satisfied now. Even writing this, it is because i am writing and as i write and i write anything which come to my mind when i am writing.

It is all about luck. I think it is all about the luck when everything is equal.

We now live in a very wonderful time to become big personally. Of course not physically but personally to make our own name.

Also now we are competing with 7 billion people because of internet and globalisation but the opportunities are greater than negative results.

It is not about happiness. It is not about material wealth. But times are wonderful now to become something. Also some have to do something for themselves to survive nowadays.

Is it books that shaped my mind? or is it maturity or is it  just change in mindset?, I don't know, but books have definitely helped me in changing or introducing me to different mindsets and have taken me to different possibilities.

Books are great, they are great friends. They are great teachers which i can find easily.

I think worrying about money has not left me at all and i am actually in a good position than ever before. So it must be a normal thing with age, with living in your own. 

Ha ha when i am writing i have many new ideas to earn more money. I think writing is actually good. It is doing something to my brain, i am having many things now in my brain. I am reminded of to be in hurry to reach many self defined milestones.

Actually i am not after any milestones. But books i want to write a lot. For whom? I don't know. Maybe for my grandchildren.

I have this rejection problem. I don't want to be rejected. I have this strange thing where i face rejections all the time and it has ruined my biology but i have accepted it because it was sure to happen. I should accept it and shouldn't let myself feel being rejected. Strong men don't talk things but i just talk.

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Devraj Mayanglambam